Thursday 30 May 2013

Not so humble beginnings:Aisha's journey to natural

Once upon a time there was a Nigerian princess with long straight hair that was the envy of all the women in the land. Errrrr scratch that. Well I had good hair by all standards: nice, colored half the time and of moderate length (I never really liked long hair so I cut every chance I get). I had no worries (at least not enough to warrant hair loss), various princes were asking for my hand in marriage….as a fine gal concerned and life was good. Here come the evil stepmothers called stress and challenges and ding my hair literally started to fall of. I did everything possible: trim, cut the colored bits off, had treatments (expensive salon based ones but stylists that know their business), a dreadful Supercuts treatment and cut (well I was getting broke). Nothing seemed to work. Like the musical bye bye birdie……my hair was saying bye. So I spoke to my friend that went natural a year back and I thought well I have nothing more to loose. I spoke to my stylist and we agreed on a date, which meant I could not relax my hair. My friend wanted to come see me cut it. She actually thought I would not stick it through. I called her after it was done and well this princess wasn’t bad looking after the hair was gone.
 

To be honest I felt free. I could shower without a cap (the things we princesses had to do to protect our mane) and I gained 10mins in my daily routine because I didn’t have hair to worry about. I thought ok well I can do this. Ever the color junkie I booked an appointment to have my hair colored a month after. I did my ‘first’ big chop in June 2012 (Note the inverted commas) several chops would follow suit.

…..the color purple
Note that I didn’t include any tricks of the trade. I didn’t do much research and just went with the flow. I didn’t even know what type of hair I had. All I knew was that the hair at the back was like chicken bum bum compared to the rest of my hair and I really could shower without using a cap. My friend asked me what products I was using and stuff but I really could not be bothered. I bought coconut oil and I had a keracare hair milk/lotion from my straight days so I just used it. I was excited about changing my hair color. I have never really rocked black hair before. Well there is a reason they say black don’t crack and I was about to find out why.

I must admit that’s not the most flattering picture but that’s what I have to show you. I bleached and went bright purple. I said to myself….self you can do whatever to hair and it would still grow…..errr wrong. I rocked the purple for a few weeks and went plum because I felt it was too bright. After a month I noticed some dark bits coming out and I was excited. It meant my hair was growing. I could actually spot the difference and started marking it down. I must also mention I had to cut it even lower after adding the color so this for all intents and purposed was my second chop.
My friend kept hounding me to do some research, you have to take care of color treated hair differently, what oils are you using blah blah blah. I said to myself…..this my friend is an insufferable know it all. I did go to the market to get oils but found lavender and rosemary oils too strong (the ones I need o). Instead I bought aloe vera, tea tree and olive oil. The tea tree I found it too strong so I stopped using it. I still used the products I used when I had relaxed hair….why waste money. But my hair seemed to be fine and I thought why do people make so much noise about hair.

Looking for my inch
Around September I noticed my hair wasting growing like I would expect. I was literally looking for my 0.5 inches of hair growth. I spoke to my friend. She said in a stern voice….do the research. So I did. I knew there was a black hair community but boy was I shocked at how much information was out there. My hair bio-data is a follows: 4c (around the top and middle sections), 4a at the back, loves leaving conditioner and would dry out faster than spit on a cold winters night. I started taking better care of my hair. I stopped washing as frequently as I would normally do (which was everyday…the princess likes water no wonder she has been kissing frogs and no prince yet). I changed my hair products. I started using the full range of curls and the conditioner was magic to my hair. I still didn’t change my oils……really didn’t dig it and my hair started growing again and then it stopped. I really do notice these things. I used to put it cornrows and by December it didn’t change as much. I sat down and asked myself what’s wrong. Why isn’t it growing again? I spoke to my friend over xmas and also complained about my hair being really hard. I would turn up like iron sponge at the end of the day. She suggested I use glycerin and lord it worked like a charm.
By new years I thought maybe I should cut my hair again. This time learn to live with my natural hair color so on the 19th I went all wole Soyinka on my hair and ended up with a fro. I changed my oils this time and my hair is finally saying ..you are now getting it right.

And we lived happily ever after….for now
I love my hair now. My cousin has gone natural as well and I was happy to share trade secrets with her. My 2yr old niece has my hair and I feel like the cool aunty that knows what to do all the time. She hates doing her hair because it hurts all the time and frankly speaking the babe just doesn’t want to sit down and get her hair done. She had a lot of playing to do and beauty isn’t pain to her just yet. I intend to texturize it at some point. I get inspired when I see people with long black hair and I tell myself…self im going to get there one day.  I do hate it when I see some people with un kept hair because I feel its fuels the stereotype that black hair is untidy hair. But truth be told, she probably has a bad hair day or hasn’t gotten a hang of managing her hair.

Natural and proud
Aisha

Friday 24 May 2013

Calling all naturalistas: Share your journey to natural hair with us.

Hey,
So Faridah and I have shared the stories of why we decided to go natural and how we did it. Our stories are very different, Fardiah's was an impulsive big chop and mine was a premediated process that took years of consideration and some transitioning till the big chop went down.
We know the journey to natural and the process of being natural is very different for all of us. So what we would like is for you to email us your journey to natural. Include some pictures and tell us why you went natural and how you went natural (big chop, transitioning etc).We would love to get as many stories as possible and post as many as possible so we can all learn from each other and encourage others who want to but who havent taken the leap yet.
Sharing is caring lovely ladies. So get emailing to me (Feyi) at misscokerreads@hotmail.com or to Faridah at ozi.abu@gmail.com and lets share our journeys.

Kinks and Curls,
Feyi.

Thursday 23 May 2013

Faridah's Big Chop

Hello lovely ladies!

Just a quick introduction. My name is Faridah and I’ve known my dear friend Feyi since we went to the University of Leeds together (Clarence Dock, baby!). I’ve been natural for almost 3 and a half years.

My BC story is probably different to a lot of naturals out there. At the time, I knew nothing about any natural hair movement, had no idea what a big chop or TWA was. I had only one close friend who was natural, and she’s very low-key about hers. So I was completely in the dark about anything to do with natural hair.
 
My relaxed hair was wretched. Ever since I can remember, my hair has always been really fragile and it never grew past shoulder length. It broke off with the slightest manipulation and basically refused to retain any length whatsoever (will post a few pictures of my relaxed hair soon).

So when I went to the hair salon one frigid winter morning, I didn’t go with the intention of cutting all my hair off. My BC took place in January 2010 (I don’t even remember the exact date, that’s how insignificant I felt the event was at the time). All I knew was that my hair was a patchy, brittle mess and I wanted something, ANYTHING done. I got there and the lady took one look at my hair and said sympathetically, “Yeah……..it’s probably best to just cut all this off. Not sure what else can be done really.”

Ok so I’m not exactly scissor-shy, I’d already cut my hair several times prior to this day. But it was always into some sort of style (Kelis, Rihanna), so the prospect of cutting it ALL off was rather daunting. After some hesitation, I took the plunge and watched as my hair fluttered all over the salon floor.
 
Afterwards, I was very self-conscious and I mostly hid in my house for several weeks. My boyfriend at the time was really supportive, so he made me feel much better about the whole situation. A month later, I went round to several salons in Leeds, looking for anyone who was willing to go through the process of putting my hair in braids, but they all turned me away, saying the hair was “too short to pick”. Eventually, I found someone and I felt comforted with the X-pressions hair falling to my back.

My sister was actually more excited about my short hair than I was, as she had dreams of me turning into a Solange-type creature. She sent me the link to a blog “moptopmaven.blogspot.com” which was really helpful at the time. But it wasn’t until several months later when another friend of mine with natural hair introduced me to the natural hair world, filled with terms such as “pre-poo” and “sealing” that I realized the magnitude of my actions. Cutting my hair was much more than some impulsive act; I’d unknowingly been inducted into a community of fellow women who had decided to put an end to their relaxer days.

I was way too self-conscious to take pictures of myself during and immediately following my haircut. So this was taken a few weeks after the deed.


I promptly became a blog follower, a product junkie and youtube addict overnight. There was just SO much information out there, and I simply had to know everything at once. But this is a story for another post.
 
3 years later and I’m so glad I was impulsive enough to start this natural hair journey of mine. My relaxed hair days are long behind me and discounting several moments of frustration where my hair simply refused to behave the way I wanted it to, I haven’t regretted my decision. I’d do it all over again.

I'm really glad to be a part of this, and I’m reallyyy looking forward to sharing all my natural hair experiences with you. From my favorite hair products and practices, to people’s reactions to my hair. I’ll reveal all!



Knotty by Nature, ;)
Faridah

Monday 20 May 2013

Welcome Co-blogger: Faridah

Hi guys,
So in my last post I talked about my friend Faridah who I called when I was on my way to the salon(NUBA: http://www.nubahairandbeauty.co.uk/index.html) to do my big chop. Well she went natural before I did and she was the first person to talk me through the need-to-know basic tips of natural hair (which we shall blog about soon). I figured who better to write this blog with than her. She also has a different hair texture to mine and while I live in England she lives in Nigeria so together we can blog about our experiences with our different textures of hair on different continents. 
So welcome my darling Faridah. xx

Kinks and Curls,
Feyi.

Rome wasn't built in a day : Feyi's Journey to Natural

Immediately after my big chop
I didn't make the decision to go natural overnight, I didnt have a drastic lets cut it all off moment. About 2 years prior to my big chop I became really bored with my hair: having the same look all the time and doing the same old things. A couple of years before my big chop I wrote a list of things I wanted to do before I turned 30 and on said list was "do something completely different with your hair and change your look" I was getting that its time for a change itch.
I got sick of the repetitive endless trips to the hairdressers to relax my hair, got sick of buying relaxer, straightening my hair, not being able to swim as often as I would like and all the other pitfalls of chemically straightened hair. I started taking a fancy to curly styles and well relaxed hair didnt really make that too easy to do. So I stopped with the relaxer and started texturising my hair, I was happy with that for about a year and a half but then the new growth had a completely different texture from the rest of my dead straight over-processed hair. It looked WEIRD, didnt know how to style it or what to do with it. I know now that this was my transitioning period, didnt know it then lool. Never heard the word used in the context of natural hair till I had done my big chop. I didnt know anything about natural hair, what to do with, how to style bla bla. Kinda always thought it was for the black and proud queens like Erykah Badu and the likes. I didnt fancy having a massive afro on my head. Note that at the time, I had just finished my masters degree and was applying for jobs, praying for interviews and getting ready to jump into the corporate world, going natural really didnt seem feasible/socially acceptable.
Anyways at the time I lived in Sheffield and popped into an amazing salon on West Street called Nuba http://www.nubahairandbeauty.co.uk/ . There I met the amazing Serena Giscombe, she is absolutely amazing, she won the black beauty northern stylist of the year award in 2011 and a couple of other awards. Serena told me I had a really nice curl pattern (had no clue what that meant) and asked if I had ever considered going natural. I believe that was my  I AM GOING NATURAL moment. Do note that I had decided to do a PhD and not jump into the corporate world, so I figured if I go natural and find its not for me and isnt really feasible for the corporate world, I would ditch being natural and go back to my relaxer ways (am not a sell-out but having a job and paying my bills seemed more important at the time than taking a social stand. Sue me). Serena told me to book an appointment in 2 weeks to come and get it cut. The idea was that I would have 2 weeks to sit with the decision and be sure. Yes that is important. YOU NEED TO BE SURE.  
I booked the appointment and Serena and I came up with a plan. We were going to do my big chop, I had about 5-7cm of untexturised, unrelaxed hair. But we were going to make sure I had enough hair to  do braids and that meant leaving some relaxed bits, as little as possible though. So this was the plan, big chop followed by hair in braids for 1 month.
As the day of my big chop (13th of May 2011) drew nearer I was excited and was totally sure, insanely nervous, slightly terrified but sure. I rang up my dear darling Faridah who had gone natural as I was walking to NUBA to do my big chop. She was supportive and has remained so. So yep I did the big chop (see pic) and had braids put in immediately. But I was too excited to keep the braids in for 1 month. I went back to NUBA after 2 weeks (if that) with my braids out, Serena was shocked lool but I was that excited. She cut off the remaining straight bits and I happily rocked my little fro (see pic).

My little fro
I have been natural for 2 years now and I would not change it for the world. 

Kinks and Curls,
Feyi.

Wednesday 15 May 2013

Clash of the titans: Naturalistas vs Relaxers and all known accomplices

As I mentioned in my very first post, I was inspired to start this blog whilst reading Chimamanda Adichie's Americanah.  I came across this passage (see pic) and it got me thinking.


Why do we turn natural after years, in some cases decades of relaxing our hair and declare all out war on relaxers and its users? I agree that it is liberating and absolutely amazing to know we are rocking the naps God gave us but why the strong urge to convince all females we know to ditch their trusty creamy friend? Hand on my heart I have to say that I too tried with wayyy to much enthusiasm and eagerness to convert my relaxer-loving friends. I may have secretly felt that my choice to go natural was because I was happy to be me, the real me, unaltered, un-straighten, un-restrained by tri-monthly painful salon visits just kinkly real me. But c'mon who was I fooling, natural hair isnt all fun and games. I dont know about you but from time to time, when I cant make my hair look "neat and presentable" when I cant quite rock the hairstyle the bride wants all bridesmaids to sport on her big day I miss my relaxer days. Only for a moment though. Clearly there are pros and cons of being natural vs having relaxed hair. Personally, I now cringe when I read things like "Relaxing hair is like being in a prison" or when I hear relaxer being referred to as "creamy crack". I shared this new found peeve of mine with a fellow naturalista on watsapp and this was her response:



So lovely naturalistas, whilst we hope that job employers, family and friends, males we adore and the world in general embrace/appreciate/not judge our curlykinkynaps, may we also learn to embrace/appreciate/not judge the relaxer and all its known accomplices, admirers and addicts. To each her own. 
I hereby promise myself, that in all future conversations about relaxers with non-naturalistas, I shall restrict my war on relaxer to my hair only well.... and the hair of my unborn daughter(s) and I will tell people about the joys of being natural without morphing into a fully armed  and unwavering naturalista titan.

Kinks and Curls,
Feyi.

Tuesday 14 May 2013

Hello

Hello,
2 years natural. 
Yesterday was the 2 year anniversary of my big chop, see pic for my progress. Yes I did a big chop, cut it all off and went natural, a decision that I came to love very quickly and now view  as one of my best decisions ever. In my two years, a lot of the myths I had about black hair have been dispelled. I have learnt ALLLLLOT of new things, I have loved being natural and I have loathed it at times.

Today whilst reading Americanah by Chimamanda Adichie (another naturalista) I was inspired. She refers to natural hair in her book (am only halfway through) a couple of times and I felt the need to write/share my thoughts on natural hair and my journey. And no, not just the the generic boring stuff you see on every natural hair blog: styles, routines,products etc but the good bits and bad bits of going natural (my perks and peeves of natural hair), the comments and reactions of others and whatever views and opinions of natural hair and naturalistas that I come across in my everyday life. I am blessed to have many naturalistas as friends and would love to get them from time to time to share their thoughts, pics, routines etc.


That being said, its time for my first proper post and its a hair peeve. Enjoy!



Kinks and Curls,
Feyi